Zuj zus raws li qhov tus me nyuam txoj kev nyem heev. Yog thawj lo lus nug kuv twb yeej hais koj “where are you from?” Cov lus teb uas yooj yim yog Pakistan. Nws yog ib feem ntawm kuv. Besides, Kuv xav nyob hauv Canada tau yooj yim. Kuv twb hais kom tau ib tug “Paki”, niam txiv yuav tiv kuv tsis pub kuv mus sleepovers thiab tsos thiab kuv cov khaub ncaws tsw zoo ib yam li cov txuj lom Pakistani kuv niam siv nyob rau hauv peb cov zaub mov nws yog tshuaj Hmoob mus. I was caught between two worlds and didn’t know how to reconcile them.

Kuv tsis paub hais tias thaum nws tshwm sim, tiamsis sometime thaum kuv lub xyoo kawm ntawv qib qis, hais tias tias kuv yog los ntawm Pakistan tsis tau cov lus teb yooj yim muab. Kuv puas thiab lub neej nyob Canada pib paub zoo dua. Kuv niam thiab txiv thov nej tsam ces kuv mus nquam paj nquam nruas thiab pab txhawb rau kuv lub tsev tshiab thiab nco txog ib tus kuv nco. I remember attending my Citizenship Ceremony and excitedly telling my 5^th qib xib fwb Mrs. Burnett that I was now a Canadian.

I volunteered at an MPP’s office and had my first trip to Ottawa where I called my mom from the Peace Tower at the Parliament of Canada in awe of where I was standing.

Thaum kuv cuv xyoo nyob hauv University Toronto, Kuv pib taug kev thaum lub summers. Sia mus thoob ntiajteb ua nyob rau hauv tej zej zos ntau, Kuv twb nug cov nqe lus nug tib kuv twb tau kom koj nyob Canada “Where are you from?"Kuv teb, "ntawm Canada"

Cov nqe lus nug tom ntej no yog “Qhov twg yog koj tiag tiag los?"Hauv siab, tej zaum dismay, Kuv yuav teb, “Kuv yug hauv Pakistan, tiam sis kuv loj los hauv Canada”. I was very proud of my Pakistani birth and early years but I was also very sure that my home was now Canada.

Nyob rau hauv 2009, kuv tsev neeg txiav txim siab rov mus xyuas Pakistan. Kuv yog tus pog thiab tshee. Ua ntej peb tshuav Canada, Kuv nco ntsoov xav tsis muaj leej twg yuav nug kuv qhov chaw uas kuv tau los – Kuv hais lus npliag Urdu, wear the traditional shalwar kameez and will not stand out in a crowd.

Thaum peb lKoj tuaj qhov twg tuajahore, Mus nrog kuv tsev neeg thiab yuam kom tau ib chana phaj los ntawm ib txoj kev vendor. Kuv tab tom mus noj thaum tus poj niam lub suab qab kuv ntsiag to kom “APP kahan se hain?” lub ntsiab lus “Where are you from?”

Kuv ntseeg tsis tau tias nws. tsis nyob ntawm no!

Kuv yug xwb li ob peb teev tsav ntawm Lahore nyob hauv ib lub zos hu ua Sargodha. Kuv hais rau nws kuv tau los ntawm Pakistan. She wasn’t convinced and asked again.

kuv hais, “Kuv yug hauv Pakistan tab sis ntau zus hauv Canada.” Peb ntaus tuaj sib tham thiab sib noog sib tham txog peb lub neej nyob ntau qhov chaw hauv ntiaj teb. Kuv tsis tau pab tab sis xav tias tus neeg kuv puas yuav yog kuv tsev neeg yuav tsum tsis txhob tshuav Pakistan. Thaum kuv tuaj txog nram qab hauv Canada, Kuv tau pomzoo ntawm qhov unexplainable zoo nkaus li muaj “tsev” when I saw Toronto.

Hnub no, Kuv tseem tau nug koj seb koj nyob qhov twg kuv tuaj. Hais tias kuv yog Pakistani-Canadian yog cov yooj yim thiab cov lus teb txoj kev yog muab. Kuv kuj muaj tau yug los nyob ib sab ntawm lub ntiaj teb thiab nyiam ua nyob hauv ob peb puas muaj kuv, tiam sis Canada yog kuv lub tsev. Ua ke, ob qhov chaw tau ua kuv leej twg tau kuv thiab rau cov uas, I am grateful.

-Sadia hauv Mississauga